Swickard column: The dog days of elections

Michael and Conrad

© 2012 Michael Swickard, Ph.D.   My dog Conrad was amused by the story this week of an Albuquerque man who registered his dog to vote and promptly got a voter card for the dog in the mail. He wanted to show that a New Mexico voter card was easy to get even for those who are not legitimate. He has been proven right and has gotten the attention not only of the State of New Mexico law enforcement authorities but also the “dog set to vote” story went national.  These dog days of the election process are quite interesting because it would seem that getting a false voter card was easy. This is despite the fact that I have been told many times the registration process insures only legitimate voters are on the rolls. When I questioned if that statement is true, I have been told LOUDLY, that there are no instances of voter fraud in New Mexico so the integrity of the voting process has been proven. However, that statement is a hard sell now with the advent of Dog and Husband Gate.

            Yes, the perpetrator of this voter outrage has his head down and is very very sorry. Likewise is his master, the person who actually filled out the forms and got his wife in a sticky situation. The wife works for a candidate in the upcoming election and so the sins of the dog and husband have come back to rest upon the wife. Gosh, does it not always happen that way?

            Still, it would seem sending the dog to the pound and the husband to the judicial woodshed is not what should happen. Yes, they are a bad dog and a bad husband. All together, “BAD DOG, BAD HUSBAND.” The authorities are talking a charge of felony for the one person who registers illegally and then does not vote. How stupid.

            Truth be known, I think this guy and his dog deserve a medal because one of the most contentious debates each year involves the voting process. The authorities claim no one but a qualified voter can vote.

            So this dog and man settled the issue. We now know without a doubt that people (and dogs) of evil intent can vote thousands of times each election. In fact, I suspect there are technically more dogs and cats in Albuquerque than people, though I have not tried to confirm that data point. New Mexico may have already gone to the dogs and we, the people, just did not know.

            The one thing I know for sure is that no one can sanctimoniously sniff and say that there never has been a proven case of voter fraud in the state. A dog got a voter card. The dog did not vote, of course since the reason for the exercise was to show how loosely the voter rolls were protected. And no candidate offered a viable treat for the vote. Another library? Another school? Phooey, the dog was looking for real pork.

            Seriously folks and I guess I should be serious for a moment, in elections where it is just a few hundred votes winner to loser, we now have to wonder if a pack of dogs are controlling our state. We will never know until we have photo voter ID. Or fingerprint voting. That would stop some of the problem. I do not think we have to sniff each other (how rude) as we come into the polls the way dogs would if they ran the elections. The mental picture is gruesome, eh?

            So now what? We, as a society, can law this dog and his master to a frazzle and then sweep the lesson under the outhouse door or we can grab this opportunity to make our elections more valid. Know this: those who are in office often will not want to change a thing because they were elected under those rules.

            Still, this story may have a life of its own with one political party in New Mexico being the Dog Bone Party and the other political party, since they are at the other end of the dog’s Alimentary Canal will quaintly be known as the… well, you get the idea.

Dr. Michael Swickard is co-host of radio talk show News New Mexico 6 to 9 a.m. Monday - Friday on a number of New Mexico radio stations and through streaming. Email: michael@swickard.com