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| Me and Conrad |
Conrad fits right in around the NMSU campus because most people just treat him like a graduate student. Being an Aggie, he enjoys football. He does bark disgustedly at “Bonehead” plays and certainly displays same-species aggressiveness toward referees.
Mostly he is happy with an outing. He has a tail-wagging good time to the beat of the Aggie Pride Band. He woofs the Aggie fight song with the best of them, “Aggies, oh Aggies, we’ll win this game or know the reason why.”
Conrad knows why the Aggies do not win consistently in football. In fact, most Aggies know why. There is a big difference between knowing why our team does not win often and accepting it.
Conrad is philosophical about the Aggies losing the first, “What was it? Six or seven games of this year?” Grrr, woof woof woof woof woof woof woof. OK, it was seven. But then they won the Homecoming Game. Conrad showed his Crimson Pride strutting out of the Stadium victorious.
You should have seen how worked up he got when earlier that week a newspaper columnist suggested the Aggies should shut down the program and concentrate on their Cow Chip Throwing Team. Conrad made a sound like he was coughing up a hair ball. Then he sulked for the rest of the day. He does not a bite, but that columnist would have gotten a piece of his mind if Conrad had email.
So he was quite tail-wagging happy when the Aggies broke their losing streak at Homecoming. He even smiled at the cat a few times out of pure Aggie happiness.
Some people wondered why he did not try out for the replacement role of Smokey the Wonder Dog from the 1990s. Smokey ran out after each Aggie kickoff to retrieve the kicking tee. The home audience loved it.
That replacement role now is held by Striking, the Also Wonder Dog, who is doing a great job. Conrad thought it was funny last year when the opponent runback fell right on the tee. Striking zoomed out but could not find the tee for all of the human bodies.
An Aggie football player saw his trouble and personally walked him over to the tee. Striking woofed, “Thanks” and hurried it back to the sideline. The crowd, including Conrad, hollered in appreciation.
Conrad did not try out for Striking’s job. He was too busy being the News New Mexico Radio Talk Show Official Dog.
Now the Aggies played this last weekend. It did not go as well as the week before. Conrad sat patiently by the radio and kept pulling for the Aggies but to no avail. I cooked a couple of football wieners so we could at least enjoy the bonding experience of football wieners, but he was sad. Still, there is next week.
Conrad is looking forward to the game with Boston College this Saturday. He read up on their mascot, Baldwin, the Eagle. Conrad wondered why they did not alliterate a Bulldog from Boston. I told him Georgia already had the Bulldog. He shrugged and continued wagging the Aggie Fight Song.
I was curious about what Conrad thought about the Football Team so I sat him down for an interview: “What about all of the people wanting NMSU to drop football?” I waited, but Conrad would not say anything.
“So Conrad, what can NMSU do to have consistent success?” No answer. It went like that with me asking Aggie football questions and Conrad not talking. It finally dawned on me that even if Conrad knew, it was useless to ask him.
I guess if Conrad was Francis, the Talking Mule or Mr. Ed, I might have something to report, but Conrad is not talking. He is just going to the Aggie football games and enjoying himself.
What a good idea for us all. Come enjoy the food, football and of course Striking, the Also Wonder Dog.
Dr. Michael Swickard hosts the syndicated radio talk show News New Mexico six to nine a.m. Monday - Friday on a number of New Mexico radio stations and through streaming. Email: michael@swickard.com
