The change came when I found out that I had cancer. Everyone who has cancer has that one moment when the enormity of our mortality chokes them. My first thought was that I did not mind dying but I did not really want to be there when it happened.
While going through the cancer treatments my thoughts focused on making it to the next Christmas and New Year. Next year and the New Year took on a whole new meaning. And I have not lost that perspective.
Almost every day there is some moment when I recognize that this world would go on quite fine without me. Not to say that I have anything against living. I am enjoying being here so I hope I am still alive and well at the end of 2014. That is my resolution.
When people say that for their New Year resolution they wish to lose weight or read more books, frankly, I am not interested. I am still day to day, week to week appreciating life. It also helps to tolerate watching Congress, The Cowboys and Miley Cyrus, Me, I am just glad to be here, who cares about them?
During my bout with cancer I lost my mind and it was quite unpleasant. For one thing, I could not drive for a while during the worst of it. Further, I could not remember why I had walked into a different room.
Finally my mind came back complete with my sick sense of humor. I rejoiced. Whenever I have something funny to say it tickles me first. A New Mexico politician got caught at an airport with pot in a suitcase. I observed on the air that she was my favorite pot-i-tician. She was less than amused but I was ever so glad to have some of my brain back.
Though there was one time when it was the cancer and treatments that brought to me an interesting experience. During the time when my brain was gone I kept a notebook next to the phone and would take notes because minute to minute I was a mental basket case.
One time the phone rang. The caller said my first name so I said hello. Truth be known, she thought she was talking to someone else and had called to announce her divorce. I was less than enthusiastic which angered her. I explained that with the cancer treatments I had lost my mind but it would return in a couple of months.
Mollified by the explanation she asked if I was going to the high school 25 year reunion in a few months. She wanted to, how shall I say, experience my physical presence as she claimed we had done just a year earlier. Total blank for me. Then I said, “I may be sick but I went to my 25 year reunion three years ago.
She gasped and asked, “Is this Michael…?” She said a last name that was not mine. “No,” I said, “This is Michael Swickard, the newspaper columnist.” She took it hard and I told her that it would be quite a while before I could write columns again.
Over the years I have seen the other Michael but never mentioned it to him. Still, I wonder if she did. See, we do not need lots of stuff in our lives. Even a little cancer can entertain us for quite a while. In the coming year I hope each of you stays safe and sane.
If not, I hope you get some good stories out of it.
Dr. Michael Swickard hosts the syndicated radio talk show News New Mexico six to nine a.m. Monday - Friday on a number of New Mexico radio stations and through streaming. Email: michael@swickard.com
