© 2011 Michael Swickard, Ph.D.Whew! I had a really bad dream the other night, a simply horrible nightmare. Usually I dream good things but this time it was different. Luckily I woke up none the worse for wear other than in a cold sweat.
It all started when New Mexico’s senior Senator Jeff Bingaman decided he was not going to run for reelection in 2012. As soon as I dropped off to sleep it all seemed so real. I was in a room with lots of people and cameras. They were pointing and shouting at me. What had I done to make everyone so very mad at me? I was trying to figure this out.
There was such chaos. As I spoke at the lectern I realized quickly that I was the problem in the room. It seems I was saying things that made the audience very furious at me. I could find no way to stop talking. Being half Irish and having the right to be silent but not the power to be, as Ron White says, is an exact description of my problem.
Seems I had lost any good sense I might have had and was running for Bingaman’s empty senate seat. I was answering questions about what I would do if elected and it was not going well. It was one of those dreams where I was compelled to tell the truth that no one wanted to hear.
The question involved bringing home the “pork” which all politicians must do to get elected. Not me. I said that Congress was spending much more money than it had so I pledged that if elected I would not bring any “pork” home to New Mexico. I intended to vote best practices rather than to feather my own nest.
There was a low growl from the crowd. They could not believe I would not just grab and go with the available money in Washington. I explained that someone had to stand up for sensibility. I intended to be the first in line for best practices. There was panic in the eyes of the audience.
“You have to bring everything you can home to us or New Jersey will get our “pork” and we will be stuck with paying the same level of taxes and having none of the benefits” several people wailed while gnashing their teeth.
In one corner of my mind I realized this is not going well. I tried to reason with them that we as a country have spent all of the money we have and were borrowing heavily from countries that did not like us. We were spending the money of our kids and grandkids on ourselves. I would not do it.
“We do not care how you do it but you must bring home the pork,” they insisted with a convincing nod to all of their heads. “I will not do it,” I insisted. “Get a rope” I heard from the back.
So I told them they should not vote for me, that if elected I would not serve. That calmed them down a bit as I went over all of the reasons they should not elect me to Congress. For the first time people started to applaud. They liked the way I was getting them to support someone else. I started to relax a bit thinking I could talk my way out of the hanging I so richly deserved for going against conventional wisdom.
No one should vote for me I said because first, I could not take from one American something to give to another American for the purpose of benevolence just to get elected. Second, I could not play politics with the honor and dignity of the nation; I was going to embrace best practices regardless of which party brought it to the floor of the Senate. Finally, I could not use the term “honorable” to the name of someone I thought was a snake.
They were all cheering and suddenly I realized these silly voters might actually vote for me and I would have to endure six years of attacks because I really meant it about no pork. Just in time I woke up. Whew!
